Yes. I refuse to once again look up how to spell that "opth" word...
So Adeline had her check with her new glasses and the news wasn't great, but it's not unexpected. She's really only seeing a little better with them even though the prescription is stronger, and she's still not even close to being corrected to 20/20. They make a HUGE difference for Adeline, but we were hoping for better. We were told that this might be the best vision we can get, but we hope that's not true, as that means a future for Adeline where she will need special accomodations in school and life and will miss out on things like driving a car. So yeah...not so great if there is no improvement or if things worsen, which they are likely to. Along with "high myopia" we also now have a diagnosis of "amblyopia" - a problem in the way the brain interprets visual images. There is hope that now that Adeline's two eyes are both corrected to the same level that once her brain learns how to interpret those new clearer signals more efficiently that there could be some improvement and we could get a little closer to 20/20 with her glasses.
So yeah.
I'm pretty sad and worried about it all, but I know we are doing everything we can to help Adeline see as well as she can and that even if every day of her life is affected and somewhat limited by her vision issues, that it can still be an amazing and wonderful life.
I am so thankful to have the resources to take Adeline to see the eye doctor every couple of months, to buy as many new pairs of glasses as it takes to give her the best vision possible, to have access to any specialist or therapy that is recommended to us and to be able to give my daughter an excellent education using whatever modifications she might need. As sad as I am for my girl, my heart BREAKS for the orphans of this world who might have low vision or a thousand other special needs that are so manageable in Canada, but that can truly make life unbearable for a child being raised in an institution and then facing the world alone once they age out. Oh and how my heart hurts for all the Mothers out there who are loving and worrying about their child's future just like I am, but who don't have the money or the access to the help their child needs, no matter how hard they work. I have so much and have done so little for it, and I know that I am very very lucky.
Today is Mother's Day in Canada and although I know this holiday isn't part of Vietnamese life, I am thinking about you a lot today. There are so many things I wish I could tell you. I could write for pages and pages, but really what I want to say comes down to three important things...
First, I want you to know that even though we can't know you, you are an important member of our family and a part of our life. Adeline talks about you a lot and you are never forgotten. She wishes she could send you a present today, and I wish that too. Sometimes Adeline is sad as she tries to understand her beginnings and come to terms with the fact that she can't know more about you or contact you. It's hard for me to watch my daughter being sad, but I'm always there for her to talk, to help her understand as best I can, and mostly just to be her place of love and comfort when things get hard. I love being Adeline's Mother, but that doesn't change that you are Adeline's first Mother, her Birth Mother and just plain her Mother. We are both important and we are both real and together we are the Mothers of a wonderful girl.
Second, I want you to know that your daughter is INCREDIBLE. Adeline is nearly four now, and every day she seems to be learning something new. Adeline is very very smart, she's funny, she's loving and compassionate, she's creative and musical and she has a fantastic imagination. Adeline is beautiful, inside and out, is a very happy and confident child and she sings and dances through every single day. Your daughter is also strong, and determined and willing to stand up for what she believes is right. She is a loving daughter and a loyal friend and I'm so proud of how helpful and kind she is with animals, small children and anyone who needs a hand. Every day I see you in Adeline - not just in her beautiful eyes and gorgeous smile - but in so many ways, and we both wish we could know you. Adeline is a sensitive child and she thinks about things very deeply. I believe that someday Adeline will want to find you, and I will do everything I can to help her. I hope that if a meeting is possible that this is a positive thing for both of you, and that it doesn't cause you further pain.
Last, I want you to know that your daughter is SAFE, she is LOVED and she is HAPPY. I can't begin to imagine what it feels like to live knowing that you have a daughter in the world but don't know who she is with, what she is doing or if she is okay. I would like to give you the peace of knowing that your girl is not just okay, but is THRIVING. You gave her so many gifts and you gave her a healthy start in life and I will do everything and anything to keep our girl healthy, happy, growing and learning and I will support her no matter what may come.
Without the hard choices you had to make, I wouldn't get to share my
life with an incredibly special child and have the privilege of being
her every day Mother and helping her grow into the amazing woman I know
she will become. Today on the day we celebrate Mothers, you are being honoured too.
A totally random list of TEN things that are making me happy this HOT May morning...
No surgery yet for David, and while this is NOT making me happy (it's time to get this DONE), it did let us have a fabulous weekend.
Adeline got her new glasses and they are super cute. The frames aren't that different, but they seem to fit her better and they should be helping her see better. We go back to the opthamologist in a couple of weeks, so we'll see about that... I shall never learn to spell "opthalmologist". NEVER.
Adeline went to a birthday party on Saturday and while I was happy to see her having a lot of fun going crazy in the world's biggest bouncy castle, what really made me proud was to see how empathetic, helpful and kind she was with the little ones that were there.
Sunday we went to Butchart Gardens and it was the perfect combination of warm and sunny AND quiet. It was an early Mother's Day trip because we're now permanently on call for a last minute trip to the hospital.
Thursday and Friday night Adeline had her first official sleepover at her Nana's new place. She had a fabulous time and since David didn't have his surgery, on Friday we caught up on our television, bought and put together a swing and glider set and had a wonderful grown-ups only dinner.
I made karaage chicken last night for the first time using this recipe from "Viet World Kitchen". It was super tasty and the best part was that there was enough chicken for everyone to eat their fill and there will still be leftovers. Adeline LOVED it and ate a thigh and a half of chicken! Whenever we get it at the Japanese restaurant there's never quite enough...
We're having a heat wave, and while I don't like being sweaty when I sleep, I do love how it is making all my seeds JUMP out of the ground.
My big, heavy, huge, colourful blanket is finally done, just in time for hot summer weather.. I now have an idea for a summer weight quilt for Adeline's bed. It should be ready right around September when it's time to put the heavy blanket back on... I'm excited about a new project though!
I'm a wee bit obsessed with a video game...it happens to me every once in a while. I only play before bed, but I am staying up WAY too late trying to do "just one more". It's "Sims Pets" for the 3DS. David found it in a bargain bin and thought I might find it diverting...
Still lots of stress around our place, but lots of things making me happy too. So here it is, a totally random list of TEN things making me happy this monday.
Okay, so NOT making me happy is how UGLY and BIG the new trampoline in my garden is, but what IS making me happy is to see Adeline's beaming face as she jumps and jumps and jumps. I really wanted a nice wooden climber and swing, but because money is tight this spring with David not working for a couple of months, and because David won't be able to build anything when he's in his cast, we went for a trampoline instead. I really really kind of hate it, but I love how happy it makes my girl!
In the last 6 hours we have had strong winds, calm, sunny and hot weather, a wicked rain storm and pelting hail. I love wacky spring weather!
The hail was during our walk home from preschool. This likely sounds weird but Adeline and I LOVED running home in the hail. It hurt in a good way, you know? We laughed all the way.
Our local (as in two blocks away) craft bakery is doing wood-fired pizza with amazing fresh, local toppings every Sunday and we were FINALLY home on a Sunday and I could walk down and bring us home pizza awesomeness for lunch!
David is likely having his surgery this Friday. I'm not happy about it, but I'm happy to almost have it behind us. The recovery is the worst part, but it will be good to at least be home and working towards the goal of healing and then getting back to walking again. My dream is to have David able to take Adeline trick-or-treating, but with a rehab period that could take 6 months, it might not happen.
David's work has been really supportive and has found a replacement for him for his time off, which really takes down David's stress level, as he won't be leaving his colleagues trying to do their work and his. And when David is less stressed, we're all less stressed.
My sweet pea seeds are finally sprouting.
Adeline is going to be a dwarf in her Musical Theatre class production of Snow White. I am seriously SO EXCITED. Okay, so it's not a production, but really just one song, and everybody is going to be a dwarf, but I'm still so eager to see my girl performing!
Adeline's big "all-the-colours" crochet blanket is finally DONE. Pictures to come soon!
First an update on life, which contains all the reasons I haven't been blogging. David was scheduled for achilles tendon surgery tomorrow and we were frantically trying to get a lot of stuff done in the garden and house to prepare for his up-to-6-months of crutches. The surgery has been moved back a week, but we still have lots to do so this is a VERY full weekend coming up. My Mom has finally moved out of our basement and into her own place, but her new house was left SUPER EXTRA FILTHY so for DAYS before and after moving in day I've been there cleaning. It took a full three hours just to do the bathroom...yuck. It's much cleaner and homier now and I think Adeline's Nana is going to be happy being just 40 minutes away from us. We've also had an ANT INVASION. Enough said on that creepy topic. Then there's all the general busy-ness of life and the fact that I'm super tired as I'm staying up late to worry every single night so when I'm in between things to do all I really want to do is lay down.
*sigh*
BUT...after the surgery David has to have 6 weeks off of work and his company has been really supportive. I hope there isn't too much pain/discomfort/crabbiness and that we can enjoy some family time together. My Mom is finally getting settled in after a lot of selling/buying/moving stress which will make all of us feel happier and more settled. The ants WILL GO (because I will make them) and eventually I will sleep again, once there is less for me to worry about.
Until then...we've got Super Dog...
This morning Adeline donned her cape and declared herself "Super Dog". She was THRILLED when I said she could wear the cape for the walk to school, and the whole way there Super Dog was looking out for people and animals in trouble because "Super Dog is ALWAYS HERE TO HELP. WOOF." Adeline kept yelling "To the rescue!" and "I unleash my powers" (which only just now do I realize is a pretty hilarious thing for Super Dog to say). Every once in a while she would stop and do her "moves" and show off her super strong muscles. It took us FOREVER to walk to preschool, but the sun was shining and I was smiling the whole way.
Okay, so I'm just going to totally IGNORE that I haven't had a post up in FOREVER and dive right in. And I'm also going to totally IGNORE that there is a list of things that are NOT making me happy today (David's very-very-soon surgery/recovery/rehab is on the top) and just be thankful for the things that ARE making me happy today.
So, a totally random list of 10 things that are making me happy today.
Adeline is at an age that she plays "house" at school a lot and she told me that she always gets to be the Dad. She is THRILLED to get to be the Dad and I love thinking about her being the Dad and wondering how much of David comes out in her play...
My Mom gets the keys to her new place this afternoon and moves in completely on Saturday. It's been nice having her at our place, but it's time for everyone to have their own space. We're all looking forward to her finally being close enough to us that we can just meet up for dinner or a play or if Adeline wants a sleep-over it's not a big deal to make that happen. We're ALL looking forward to the sleep-overs!
Although the surgery and recovery and rehab are NOT making me happy, the fact that we're getting ourselves organized so that David can have what he needs once he's home IS making me happy.
My rose has SO MANY BLOOMS on it. I think the garden is going to be amazing this year.
It's been alternating between warm and sunny and raining for days now which is making everything grow and those sunny patches make me happy.
We're getting a small trampoline and a swing set for our yard. SO VERY UGLY, but Adeline will love it and I'll love reading my book in the shade while she bounces and swings. And I'll TOTALLY be taking my turn on the trampoline!
Adeline has learned to pump on the swings. Yay!
David said something to me last week that made me very happy.
All the coins in our piggy bank got rolled up and we had five hundred dollars! It feels like we won the lottery.
We're all getting our passports renewed so that as soon as David is back on his feet this fall or winter we're going to go on a holiday.
This weekend was all about trying NOT to think about the fact that in just a short time David will be undergoing major surgery (achilles tendon re-attachment, likely with grafting in of tendons harvested from other parts of his body) and then will be in a cast and then a progression of boots and on crutches for up to 6 months (but hopefully only four). It's hard to think about anything else, and just trying to wrap our heads around how we're going to accomplish even just our daily tasks seems to be taking up all our energy. But we had AMAZING May-like weather and a long weekend and a lot of chocolate in the house, so we decided to try to just enjoy each other.
First we dyed eggs on Friday...three dozen of them this year...
On Saturday, Adeline dressed up in her spring-y best and we went to our neighbourhood Easter party. I love my neighbourhood!
There was an Easter egg hunt, face painting, parachute games, the playground, bubbles, a bouncy castle, egg-and-spoon and sack races, crafts, huevos locos and lots of happy little people. We stayed for the full two hours and Adeline did every activity.
Adeline was really hoping the wind would catch the parachute and it would take her flying...
Adeline was a VERY serious egg-and-spoon racer...
and a joyful sack-racer!
Adeline was excited to show her Dad how she could pump REALLLLY high while standing in the swing.
At the face painting Adeline wanted "A monarch butterfly all over my face" and she LOVED her finished masterpiece.
On Sunday there was Easter egg hunting both inside and out, new toys from the Easter basket to play with, a ride to the bakery on her bike, working and playing in the garden and a tasty special supper - the best part of all was just that Adeline got to hang out with her Mama, her Daddy and her Nana all day long.
Adeline has been three and a half for a bit now, but we've all been so sick and busy that I haven't had time to write about it. And three-and-a-half is FUN so I always want to remember Adeline as she is right this minute. I guess I'll go with a list as there is just so much I want to include!
Adeline loves music. She enjoys every moment of her music classes and her teacher tells me that Adeline is very musically gifted. Adeline wants to listen to music all day long and since we've put the CD player down low in the kitchen, she pretty much does. I'm NOT a music-all-day kind of person, so it's not always easy for me, but I love to watch my daughter sing and dance around the kitchen!
Adeline will be taking a "Musical Theatre" class starting next month. She is super-excited about getting to be in a show. I might be more excited though...
Adeline loves to laugh and she REALLY likes to make other people laugh. She tells her version of jokes, including the famous (in our family) and totally nonsensical owl-on-a-badgel joke. Adeline also likes to talk in funny voices, use her evil laugh and do funny walks to make people laugh.
Adeline really enjoys books, especially the ones that make her laugh. Going to the library is one of her favourite outings.
Adeline's favourite band is Devo.
Adeline is incredibly kind to babies.
Adeline is super gentle and loving with her best cat friend Zephyr and with all animals.
Adeline loves preschool and she has a group of close friends. I don't want to use the word "popular" to describe a three year old, as that's a loaded word at any age, but Adeline is the kid that everyone wants to play with, the one who is missed when she's not there and the one that everyone claims as a friend.
Adeline's favourite thing to do at preschool is to have a dance party, which they do almost every day.
Adeline is very into Tinker Bell and the Fairies and if she has to be into something Disney I much much prefer Tink as she is strong-willed, capable, smart, curious, a good friend and isn't waiting around for a prince to save the day or carry her off to her "happily ever after". The fairies are also ethnically diverse and have a wide range of personalities, abilities and interests. We often all have to be in character for good portions of the day - she is always Periwinkle, I'm Tinker Bell and David used to be Lord Milori, but lately he has to be Rosetta, the girliest of the fairy crew. Adeline is super excited that her Nana says that she can have fairy sheets on the bed at her Nana's new house.
Adeline's favourite things to do at home are draw pictures, play with playdough, play restaurant or veterinarian, play with her animal figures, do puzzles, play board games like Hi-Ho-Cherry-O and help with cooking, cleaning and chores. Adeline finds fun in everything and everyone who knows her describes her as enthusiastic and exuberant!
Wormy and Squirmy (realistic life-size squishy rubber worms) just came into our life and they are her constant companions, go with her everywhere, and have MANY adventures every day.
Adeline is very competitive and has a hard time losing, but she's working on it.
After rejecting swings totally for well over a year, Adeline is back to LOVING the swings and she's starting to learn to pump on her own.
Adeline knows all her letters and she's getting better at writing them all the time. The first word she can spell and write on her own is "ham". She is working hard on her name as well. She knows a lot of the letter sounds and definitely has some good pre-reading skills.
Adeline is a whizz at counting, patterns, very basic addition and other math skills now. This was totally taught to her by television - Team Umizoomi to be specific.
Adeline tells me that when she's a grown up she's going to have a snake named Annabelle who will sleep by her bed.
Adeline has decided she wants to be a doctor when she's a grown up. She knows you have to be really smart and go to "preschool, elementary school, teenager school and then doctor school". Adeline wants to be the kind of doctor who puts bandages on heads - "But maybe not babies, because they won't hold still for me".
Adeline is NOT a good patient. I always pictured taking care of my sick daughter differently... Adeline gets MAD when she's sick. She's surly and lashes out and says no to everything. She shrugs off every attempt at physical affection and sometimes accompanies the shrug with a growl. NOT a good patient at home.
Adeline is a GREAT patient at the Doctor, Dentist and Opthamologist - she listens, is calm and quiet, does everything that's asked of her and is friendly and happy to be there. She's even patient in the waiting room as long as we've brought a pad of paper to play tic-tac-toe or draw on and a few small toys.
Adeline wants her glasses every minute of the day. You can tell that even though she coped very well before she had them, now she feels very wrong without them. The only reason there are a few pictures here without them is that she was just out of the bath.
Adeline is very attached to Elephant and at home he's always close by. He often comes in the car with us as well, and going to bed without him is UNTHINKABLE. She also has a group of eleven stuffies that must be in her bed. Adeline tells me that when she wakes up in the night and sees them waving and smiling at her, she knows she can go back to sleep. Adeline is an AWESOME sleeper now, so even though there's increasingly less room in the bed for the girl, she can have as many stuffies as she wants in there!
Adeline can cope without a nap, but she still has MUCH better days when she gets one.
Adeline's favourite food is banh chung - really. She also loves cheese, eggs, noodles, tofu, fruit (but NOT kiwis) rice, barley soup, carrots, chocolate, ice cream, spring rolls, bacon and avocadoes.
Adeline is 36 inches tall and 27 pounds. At home she looks just the right size, but when seen at preschool she looks TEENY-TINY compared to all her friends. She has a big personality though!
Lately, Adeline is asking a LOT of questions about her birth mother and how she was born and is obviously processing some very big feelings. I'm so glad she's talking to me about them and not trying to keep things in and figure it out by herself.
Adeline's favourite colour is ORANGE. It's not easy to have orange as a favourite colour as so few things (especially girl things) come in orange. It looks like orange/coral is trending for this summer though, so I'll have to get her some orange clothes or shoes. She prefers a bright "electric pumpkin" kind of orange, but coral is acceptably orange.
Adeline is very into drawing lately and does some very creative work, mostly using the orange marker. She doesn't really have the right grip yet, but it's not stopping her. Of course there are lots of pictures of her family and pets, but she also draws all sorts of interesting things, including all kinds of animals, sea creatures and bugs. Sometimes Adeline gets frustrated because her drawings aren't "perfect" (her word). I'm trying to get her to see that they are wonderful and that artists draw things the way they want to and drawings don't have to look like photographs.
Adeline is still experiementing with bossiness and rude tones of voice, so we're continuing to work on that. She only does that stuff with her family and we're working on it...
Adeline loves bouncy castles, trampolines and Dasher, the inflatable hop-on deer we bought in Vietnam.
As I write this Adeline is on her first almost-all-day playdate with a friend without Mama, Daddy or Nana coming along and next month she is going to her first drop-off birthday party. My girl is growing up and is a confident and capable little person!
The words I would use to describe my amazing daughter at three-and-a-half are enthusiastic (about everything), energetic, curious (about everything), kind, happy, stubborn, opinionated, musical, confident, eager to learn, loud (in a good way), focused (when she wants to be), smart, creative, busy and filled with life!
I'm a lucky, lucky Mama to have such a great daughter and I can only wonder what the next years will bring...
....David and I sat in a room full of officials and listened to a lot of speeches and made a lot of promises.
Honestly, I don't remember ANYTHING except trying to look like I was paying attention while the whole time I was watching my happy baby girl smiling and bouncing in the arms of her beloved nou-nou, who was putting on a brave face but had tears in her eyes the whole time.
I knew that once we signed our names in the big book and were legally declared a family that there was nothing more that could be done to keep us apart and I worked hard to put away my anger that we had been separated for so long and my worry about the burns on my girl's hands so that I could enjoy our moment of finality. There's video of the whole ceremony, so I could go back and see what I promised, but I know in my heart that I have kept every one of those promises and the many many more that I made to myself that day.
Ugh. I just lost a big long detailed post of all the things that are making me happy today, but since I somehow spazzed and lost it by leaving the page, here is the super short version (I'll expand later).
When will I learn to save my work as I go? When?
SUN!
No coats walking home from music class! And music class is awesome too!
LESS SNOT and COUGHING (but still some as we are STILL sick, a month later)!
More sleeping (because of less snot and coughing)!
A really positive visit to our very local (like four blocks away) elementary school (post to follow).
Adeline was super friendly and cooperative at the opthamologist and I feel like we're in good hands now (post to follow).
I get to mow my lawn soon! I love mowing the lawn in the early spring (and hate it the rest of the year).
Roasted asparagus! My favourite vegetable.
The barbecue and outdoor cushions are back out! Spring is here!
Adeline's Nana is living with us temporarily while she buys a new place that is close to us and Adeline is loving having her here.
Wow. Yeah. That post I lost was a good one. This one. Yeah...I know... But I just wanted you to know I was still here and that the Tet Virus of '13 hasn't beaten me yet.
To make up for this rather lame post, I'll include a picture of a super charming three and a half year old - the one who makes me happy every single day!
It's been more than three weeks now, but we're all STILL sick. This virus has knocked us down, dragged us around the block a few times and LAUGHED as we whimpered. Yeah...sick... We're all still sniffly and coughing and just can't get our energy back. It's maddening. I just want to be WELL. Adeline is eating again and back at preschool and she did manage to have fun at a birthday party on the weekend even though she coughed through it all, but she's just not herself yet. Poor us...
